Too Far Away
by mars light
Summary: A short narrative in Darien's POV after suffering a sudden and hard loss of the woman he loved the most. The world continues to move forward, but heartbreak has no time limit


Too Far Away

Author's Note: Hi everyone I decided to post this it is just a brief short narrative in Darien POV that I wrote just letting out my own feelings of personal loss. I don't know if anyone else has ever experienced a loss that is completely life changing, but these are my feelings and I just needed to get them out to breathe and hopefully ease a small bit of the pain that I am feeling inside. Thanks for taking the time to read. Mars Light

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon never did never will thank you!

Darien walked through the billowy softness of the new fallen snow until he stood right in front of where she now lied. Most others told him he was crazy venturing out in the cold weather, but he needed to be there. He needed to come and be as close to her side as he could now come which would never be enough. Even though nothing could stop him from being at her side not even an avalanche would have kept him away as he kneeled down and put his hand on top of the fallen snow and closed his eyes silently wishing that he could feel her hand holding his once more, but she wasn't there it was just the sound of the trees rustling and bitter loneliness.

It had been five years since that night and he could still remember every small detail of how he felt when they told him she was gone. It that instant it came rushing upon him as he stood there feeling numb to everything that he would never see her smiling face looking back at him, never share another piece of chocolate cake together or hear the sound of her laughter. So many moments lost in time and plans for the future that they thought there would be so much more time, but there wasn't.

He wiped a stray tear from his eye that no one was around to see, when it first happened everyone was there, everyone cried and said she would never be forgotten, but as the years passed so did their memories and promises. For him though the years were but a day living without her. He would hear others mention her name from time to time in passing, but no one thought of her the way he did, no one felt the deep hole in there heart that she once filled that was now empty.

It was amazing the simple things he would remember that floated through his head like a short conversation they had while driving in his car over nothing imparticular which is the memory that he cherished most and relives all the time because it was only a random day with her and that was all he needed. Just having her by his side laughing and telling each other stories and making plans for what would come next.

He shook his head as he brought back the sound of her laughter in his head. It was both a blessing and a curse because he didn't want to forget her, but at the same time it hurt too much to remember.

There had been no warning that day she left, no big sign telling him to take a second and smell in her fragrance once more because you won't get another chance too, take a second and really listen to her tell a story with such excitement in her voice because you won't get to hear her sweet voice speak again, take every moment you had shared together and hold onto it so strongly, don't ever let it go because the moment he lets her go is the moment he could forget and that could never be.

He let out a long sigh hating this moment, this day. If he could do it all over again there were so many things he would have changed, done differently. All the what ifs went through his head over and over like an old movie asking himself what if he had gotten her to the doctor sooner, he knew she was stubborn and would not go until she put everyone else's needs ahead of her own and he should have seen that he should have stopped it before it was too late and now all he had was regrets and memories and plans for the future that would never be.

A future without her in it. The world kept on moving and spinning all around people are smiling and wishing each other a Merry Christmas or happy holidays, but he didn't feel merry or happy when she left part of him, part of his soul had left too and every day he was left just trying to figure out how to pick up the broken pieces of the man he once was.

He felt a chill go up his spine and reached down and placed a kiss onto her head stone that now read Serena Tsukino forever in our hearts. He closed his eyes once more wishing to wake up from this never ending nightmare as he felt the wind blowing through him he closed his eyes wanting to imagine just for a second that it was her wrapping her arms around him once more lovingly telling him I'm still with you.

He knew it was time to go and even though the pull inside him begged him to stay he knew he couldn't and slowly walked back to his car and left the quiet cemetery and drove down the busy city streets seeing all the holiday decorations up and the people all out shopping for their gifts. He remembered with a small smile the joy that she always found in celebrating the holidays, dragging him into each store behind her to look for the perfect gift or waiting to put on the very first ornament on the Christmas tree until he got there and they would always put the angel on top of the tree together.

Now the holiday was just another day another reminder that the star that shined the brightest had gone out. His friends and colleagues would all smile and wish him a merry Christmas or happy holidays, but was it and yet he would still part on a fake smile and repeat the sentiment though it came nowhere near touching his heart.

He drove back to his small apartment and opened the door and walked into the desolate place it was quiet now, always quiet since she went away. He walked over and sat down on the couch and picked up a book, but it did nothing to ease his mind away from the thoughts that this night would always bring and all those following.

He put the book down and stood back up looking around his apartment there was much he could do that needed be done at one time before it happened he used to keep everything nice and tightly now everything stayed the same just collecting dust, the dishes in the sink would start to pile up and the bed laid unmade most days because he just couldn't find it in him to do anything anymore.

He went over and looked at the picture he had of her on the table it started out as a small snapshot but he had it enlarged and now walked by it every day and would talk to her like she was right there in the room with him, but she wasn't.

He took a deep breath having so much still unsaid but unable to find his voice and walked over to check the voice messages seeing there were three new messages. He played the messages the first being a bill collector, the second being Mina she always called today as if he needed the reminder to tell him what day it was, he never forgot as he erased both messages, finally the last being Andy asking him to go out to a party tonight as he erased the message and went back to sit on the couch.

He knew she would be upset to see him wasting his life pining away missing her, but he didn't know what else to do. She died and so did a part of him that day as he let out a deep sigh five years without her and still the hole that she left remained open and always will.


End file.
